Work Zone Ahead

Today I read an article by a lady saying after years of grieving she is a work zone that requires hard hats and dark glasses.   I totally understood what she was saying.   I had what I call emotional days today.  I will not call it a bad day because it was just emotional.   Any day God has given me is a good day.  I also understand that I must walk through all these feeling I don't like but it is part of it.   I also read more of my book that Dr Marshall loaned me.   I am getting into the specifics of suicide feelings.  Apparently this is the worst grief to experience in the worst loss possible.   Great!   Not the kind of luck I want.   I did have confirmed that Jared is responsible for his suicide no one else.   While issues contributed to his extreme depression he made his choice.   I always get asked,  and have asked the same thing in the past if others,  why would they do that?   The answer is. .... It is the only way they saw to end the pain they are in.   Some,  most,  leave a note but most often things left in those notes may reference symptoms,  they do not talk about the real issue.  
I have lots of work ahead of me.   Probably like a work zone in Chicago... never goes away.   I continue to pray for strength and guidance from God.   I ask him for my lows to not be so low and to have more highs.  
At times my work zone requires dark glasses.   Sometimes my work zone requires hard hats.   And sometimes my work zone requires loving arms wrapped around me.