I talk to you all the time and I hear you and feel you with me. I want you to know how very much I love you. I have had the privilege of knowing you longer and in a special way separate of all others. I have so much to say to you.
First I don't agree with your decision but I love you. I understand why you did. I know it was your only way to escape the pain you felt. Unfortunately, you didn't allow yourself to let those closest to you to help find another way. That is ok.
Today I ran errands and boy did I miss my copilot. I miss our talks, our conversations about life and politics over an ice cream cone. I miss asking you about things like how to operate my cell phone or where something is on island. I miss joking around with you and having you come up behind me and hug me.
Yesterday I took your scooter to Phil's. He sure does miss you. But everyone here does. Phil said he is going to work on your scooter himself. He said the starter has a sensor issue and it is a quick fix. He is going to replace the broken mirror and fix the bolts in the seat so it will lock again. Said that is easy to fix as well. It was emotional diving your scooter down. Thanks for helping me get it started.
I didn't realize until this morning that I haven't made breakfast on the weekend since you left. Rich said he misses me fixing breakfast. I guess I haven't because you pointed out to me years ago I always made omelets or scrambled eggs on Saturday and pancakes on Sundays. That was something you looked forward to on the weekends. Now I just try to sleep as long as I can on Saturdays especially.
Next weekend I will make breakfast for Rich and think of you.
I hope you and your Dad are enjoying your time without anyone pulling you away from him. I know that always broke your heart that you didn't spend as much time with him during your visits as you wanted. I know he looked forward to you getting older to do things with that he felt more comfortable doing. Please give him a hug for me and tell him I said he better take good care of you and to take you for ice cream and then go mudding.
I hope you have enjoyed seeing your family and friends that have gone before you and those who have arrived after you.
I did talk to Rich about what you were concerned with and he thinks it is a great idea. So looks like you and I will be traveling and helping others.
Hope you are taking good care of Poco. He sure did miss you. When he kissed us we knew he was ready to go see you.
I was happy to read your messages about living here. I knew you were happy here, but it still was comforting to see it in writing to someone I didn't know.
Your Bestie is one amazing young woman. I am really enjoying getting to know her and her family. She is really helping me get the message out about suicide prevention. We will walk in September in Nashville for the Suicide Prevention Walk and then attend a Cardinal Game on Sunday. I am going to wear one of your jerseys, probably Molina.
I gave your cereal to Ricky. He said he loves raisin bran. Kind of upset me you didn't eat it all. ..lol. Still trying to get through all the things of yours. Somethings are near impossible for me. I have found toe nails of yours in the living room and on the steps outside and of course in the trundle. I know you laughed at each one I found.
Well enough for now. I love you very very much. To the moon and back has now become to heaven and back.
I will rock you back and forth, back and forth. I will sing to you. ...I love you forever, I like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.
Love,
Mom
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