I got up with plans for a productive day. That lasted about as long as it took to think about it. When we arrived home yesterday I spent some time unpacking and organizing. I set Jared on a curio cabinet his Dad gave me years ago. I had always told Jared where it came from and that one day, when he was ready, it was his. It is flanked by candles from the service on St Croix, the family portrait, the picture of him and his two half brothers from Illinois, the plaque from his Dad's casket and in front of him sits his FIFA banner.
As for everything else, it was laid out on the spare bed. Rich had mowed the yard and had an experience with an egret showing up and supervising his work. When he was finishing he had two egrets watching him. If you knew Jared, you knew he mowed the yard and took great pride in making it look good. Rich and I believe that was Jared who showed up to supervise and he went and got Poco to watch.
Last night we visited our local bar on the Boardwalk for a couple of drinks and we were greeted with hugs, kisses and love from so many of our friends.
Today I have tried to continue organizing and sorting through things, including Jared's room. I had to stop for a while because the helplessness was overwhelming to me. After a break I made myself get back to it. I was able to sort his clothes as I have decided to have things made into a couple of quilts. One quilt of all his jerseys from his sports along with his special shirts from soccer. This will have to wait until I am able to go through the storage unit to get the rest of them. But I also decided I want another quilt from t-shirts that were special like the Jimmy Buffett concert shirts and the reenactment commemorative shirts.
I could not part with some if these things so I feel this would be a great way to repurpose them.
I think I am emotionally done for the day but I did get a little done that I wanted to. This past week I have noticed beauty where I had not seen it before. I noticed the many beautiful shades of green from that of the Tennessee tobacco growing to the talk healthy stalks of corn in Illinois. I noticed the beautiful gold colors of wheat as well as prairie grass going to seed. I noticed rich colors on birds, ducks, and squirrels. Fireworks were much brighter in color than I had ever noticed. While sitting on the boat watching the fireworks and looking at the beautiful stars and sky I remembered Jared saying to me at about age six, mom when I miss you while I am at my dad's I just look up at the sky and see the stars and moon, then I don't feel so far away from you because I know you are looking at those same stars and moon.
Well Jared I know you are looking at the same stars and moon from the other side and I don't feel so far away from you.
I loved you to the moon and back,
Now I love you to heaven and back.
No comments:
Post a Comment