A Step Parent Grieves Too

While it just didn't register as I was dealing with the loss of Jared,  Rich was going through his own Hell.  He was taking care of and protecting me and suppressing his grief.   As I became more aware of life existing around me,  I slowly began to realize he was struggling with Jared's loss too.   As we have walked through this dark forest hand in hand,  he pointed out to me that 1/3 of his life has been helping raise Jared.   He was there for Donuts With Dad days and he was there for parents nights and he walked on the basketball court and soccer field with Jared.   Jared was just two when Rich came into his life.   These two went on a vacation alone to Cedar Point as a bonding boy weekend.   They traveled all over together for reenactments.  I don't know what all Rich feels inside because he is cautious in what he tells me,  but I know he is a grieving father.   Not a biological father but a father by choice.   Jared was the reason we got married.   He talked to Rich and wanted to know why if he loved me he didn't marry me.   Way too much to explain to a child at his young age.   But in just a few short weeks he was right there beside me as Rich proposed.  In typical Jared fashion he didn't want to see us kiss and he said. .. it's about time.   Now what do you want me to do in it?   LOL. He and Brent were both a part of it.   They stood up with us.   I wish I could post some pictures but they are all in storage.   Ironically we married just 45 short miles away from where we now live,  on the island of St John.  The love those two shared was like no other.   They loved,  argued,  teased,  and depended on one another.   I think part of Rich is lost knowing that when he had to travel Jared was there to protect me. ... now that isn't the case.