Yesterday Rich and I spent the day at Buck Island. He knew I needed to get out of the house and away from everyday stressers. He booked us on an all day trip to Buck Island that had some swimming time, snorkel time, then off to another beach for a BBQ and rum punch with more water.
When we first arrived I was ready to get in the water. That is a bit unusual for me. As you can see from the picture above the water is crystal clear turquoise and you can see to the ocean floor. I was standing in the water and noticed, after feeling a peck to my pinkie toe, I was surrounded by beautiful fish at my feet. It was spiritual. They were surrounding me in a circle and there were many, and many different fish. I moved a step to the right and they all followed me. I moved to the left and they followed me. At that moment I could hear "Are you Jared's Mom? He is really cool." It reminded me of the scene in Evan Almighty where all the birds and animals followed him into work. I stood for a few minutes and appreciated the moment. I then lifted my feet and began to float. We floated around the boat and after awhile returned to where we started. Rich then was in the same area and he said "They are all around me now." I just smiled. I knew they were I had already heard a voice say, "Here comes Rich. This is your step Dad?"
I wish I could describe in words the feeling I get inside when I hear these voices and see things happen around me. There just simply isn't words.
We proceeded over to the reef for snorkeling but I chose not to go. The water was a bit choppy and I was already having emotions running high. After the snorkel was over we headed back out to another beach where the BBQ would take place. While standing in the water with Rich a powerboat came by pulling kids on a tube. I smiled and choked up. Rich looked at me and I told him this was pretty difficult for me. He asked why. I said because this is where Jared spent 2 of the last 3 days of his life. Tubing with friends and hanging out at Buck Island. He didn't realize that connection but he said he was proud of me and I was doing well with it.
It was then time to head home and sitting at the front of the Catamaran for the ride back to town, three ladies and I struck up a conversation. It started with a fear one of their husbands had about her coming to an island after the well publicized Natalie Halloway case in Aruba. I hate that has frightened so many from visiting islands. In all honesty there was more criminal activity in the county I lived in, in Tennessee then there is here. It is all about being smart. Know where you can go and where you can't. The conversation then turned to what do you do here on the island. I hesitated to say that I now run a Foundation bringing awareness to suicide because we are on this boat for a good time. But again a voice said it is ok say it. So with a deep breath I shared that I am the founder and President of Jared's Keepers Foundation. They then began to ask many questions about it. I shared with them honest answers. They each had been touched by suicide as well. So one went immediately back to her room after the trip and "Liked" Jared's Keepers Facebook page and sent a message. Her husband is a high school counselor in the state of Washington and is connecting us together to help spread the message. By this morning the other two ladies had also "Liked" Jared's Keepers page. One from Pennsylvania and one from Oregon.
Jared continues to inspire me and help to drive me when I need it. He obviously put me in that place with those ladies for a reason.
When I attended church in Petersburg when Jared was young, our pastor was talking about Angels one morning when the children were in church with us. Usually they had Children's Church with the same message downstairs but one Sunday a month they came to big peoples church. During the service a little boy asked his mom if the Angels were the ones who were around the pastor as he was speaking. His mom wasn't quite sure how to answer that at the moment. A few months we released balloons celebrating VBS and Jared asked me who catches the balloons, God or Angels. I said I bet it was both but we could ask Mr. Ed our pastor. So he marched right up to Mr. Ed and wanted to know who catches those balloons? Taken back a little he said you know Jared I am not sure but I think your mom is right, there are so many I bet they all are catching them.
I want to see the movie Heaven is Real. I know it is, but perhaps I can understand more of where Jared is.
I wish we could all keep the open mind of a 3 year old, the spirit of a 5 year old, and the carefree love of life of a 7 year old.
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