It gets so frustrating for me to be in the middle of a bite of food to have an overwhelming feeling to cry. I am focusing on working on things for Jared's Keepers Foundation today and I have smiled, giggled, and fought back tears all day. I walk by pictures and can't believe it is even possible. How can he be gone? It feels like he should just walk in the door....why won't he just walk in the damn door? I just want to hug him. I want to talk to him and laugh with him. This week I should be putting him on a plane to Illinois for two weeks. I should be helping him get his bags packed, plane tickets ready, snack food bought, but instead I am crying. I know if he were here today he would be at a beach somewhere with friends because it is just a beautiful day. I wish so much I could will him back with us. I wish with all my being I could bring him back to life. I gave him life once...if only I could again.
Today I have a stronger passion to make his foundation something unbelievable. I know it will reach many people with all the love behind the project.
Tonight I plan to spend time with Rich going for a scooter ride. One of us will be on Jared's scooter. It will be nice to have us all together in that ride.
I love you Jared....
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