I have been focusing most of my energy, which is increasing each day, on Jared's Keepers and the positive things we have going on. National Suicide Prevention Week is in 2 weeks and so is World Suicide Prevention day. I ask that you wear a red ribbon on Wednesday September 10th in memory of those you have lost to suicide. I will be flying that day and I am anticipating an emotional time. This date is also the 4th year since Jared's Dad died by suicide. I have learned different terminology and have been using it appropriately. First, died by suicide. That is what happens. We can candy coat it, which I did for a while but I realized this past week to say what it really is. I wear a bracelet every day that says Stop Suicide so let's be real with it. Also I no longer use the word "successful" when talking about suicide. They are completed and incomplete suicides, as well as attempted.
I have been focusing on the walk in Nashville on September 13th. I look forward to it as I will be with many people who loved Jared. I look forward to sharing the day of stories and memories and feeling him there with us. There are some very exciting things happening that day. I also look forward to attending the St. Louis Cardinal game on the 14th with some of his Keepers.
I am excited to see what all is going on in the schools. I will visit Harpeth High and celebrate Homecoming with them. I received some pictures from them this past weekend of more students doing the YOU ARE A KEEPER photo challenge. I am also just looking forward to spending some much needed time with friends just being.
I got a call this weekend from one of the schools here and there are some exciting things that will begin to take place here too. I will share more about that later.
I have been focusing more on me and inner healing. I talk to Jared everyday and sometimes he answers with humor and sometimes just guidance. I have opened my heart to listening rather than my ears. He gives me signs that I smile at and connect with him.
Tonight I watched as Tony Stewart was introduced before the Atlanta race. I saw so much grief in his face even behind his sunglasses. I could tell he was crying and doing his best to hold it together. I wanted to reach through the TV and hug him. Even though he isn't my driver.....GO RYAN NEWMAN.
I met up with one of Jared's soccer coaches this weekend and got the biggest hug. I love hugs they are truly healing. We talked about the FIFA team and how they did at the World Cup Qualifier in Jamaica. They performed well and grew as a team but unfortunately did not advance. I also ran into his AD from GHCDS. We talked and I felt good when I walked away. It is so nice to share things with people and talk about the good things Jared did.
I enjoyed time out and about Friday night listening to a local band and talking with friends. Saturday, we attended the Beer Fest to support the Wounded Warrior Project, where I met up with Jared's soccer coach and AD. Enjoyed some tacos and beer brewed here on the island. My favorite Mango Beer was sold out before the event started....but all for a good cause. Then finished the night off looking into the harbour and talking with friends. Today we played tourist and took a trip to Fredricksted while the cruise ship was in. Then back for a soda on the Boardwalk and relaxed at home tonight. Tomorrow we head to Buck Island and have a beach BBQ.
When I return from the states I will begin blogging about Jared's life growing up and give you more back story to help in your processing his death. He had an amazing life and did amazing things. I am glad we were able to provide those things for him to enjoy and experience.
I am getting stronger every day. I am learning how to live with the pain. I am learning to live without part of me. Life is short...love one another....
Like Thumper said....If you can't say anything nice....don't say anything at all.
Hugs to you who are reading this.
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