My message from last night: NOTES. BREATH BE STRONG ( written on top of each page)
Thank you all for being here tonight. Rich and I would like to say, from the bottom of our hearts, how much we appreciate everything and how impressed we are with the teens here who quickly jumped in and needed to help us - most of you don't even know us. It takes a lot of courage in our book, to pick up the phone to call, to send a message, our to stop by to see us when you are your age. Everyone here at Good Hope County Day, the soccer community as well as our island friends - thank you.
I would like to talk to the teens for a few moments. You have and will go through some difficult times. That is normal and a part of life. It is also important to remember there are people who understand. Your parents, ministers, teachers, and coaches are there for you. When you are in pain, when you are scared, when you are afraid, and even when you are happy, reach out and share these moments. Sometimes as parents we seem to brush off things that you tell us. That is because we have hindsight. What you are feeling many times us just a pebble in your path. What we forget is that to you It feels like a St Croix sized pot hole. Now I want you to understand a bit about Jared Martin. When he was just two his dad and I separated and divorced. Jared saw and heard many terrible things and became angry and violent. By the end of his terrible two's I didn't have a figurine left in the house. Anger and violence is something his father struggled with as well. From the age of three Jared saw a counselor off and on when needed. He learned how to cope with his anger and one of those tools was soccer. Like many parents I was drafted as his coach. I made the decision of putting Jared in the goal box to take his aggression and anger out on the ball. I bribed Jared. I told him if he didn't let any balls in the goal I would buy him ice cream. Needless to say Jared got lots of ice cream and I looked for a second job. But most importantly he took his aggression out on the ball and NOT another person. When Jared was in 3rd grade I felt it important that he learned to be coached by someone other than me. At his first game his team mom and coaches wife came up to me to tell me how she had told Jared he was really good at soccer and be replied, "thanks my mom taught me everything I know."
Flash forward to his 8th grade year. King of the Middle School. Unfortunately, less than a month into the year his father took his life. Jared's father was a police chief in a small Illinois town and it turned into a media circus. News crews, cameras, etc. As you can imagine this was and had continued to be hard for Jared to process. Jared friends quickly rallied around him and within 24 hours of returning home he was on the soccer field to help him cope. In the spring the team was in the District Tournament where they would face their #1 rival Dickson County. There was a bit of history with those two teams. You see we had played them a couple of times earlier and lost. But one particular game we had a situation where the whistle blew and Jared was faced with a PK (penalty kick) Jared stopped that ball. Then the whistle blew again for another shot and again and again. Jared stopped all four shots. Later I learned the ref had told him he was too good. We had a very quiet coach who rarely yelled or got upset and made sure every child got on the field and all of a sudden he is getting flashed with a red card. Jared is hollering it is ok coach I got this. We learned that the ref on the field was the father of the kid who kept getting the PK shots. Now it is time to play them for the championship. Jared played all four games that day and not one ball went in. This meant for the first time in the history of the men's program at the Middle or High School they brought home the hardware. Jared was also named to the all tournament team. After all the clean up my stinky, sweaty, and very muddy keeper came up to me and said, "so you going to take me for ice cream? " yes I did. .....a large M&M Blast from Sonic.
This morning a friend of mine posted an article about understanding suicide. It explained how suicide is a desire to survive. It gave the example of how on 9/11 we watched people jump from those top floors to survive. We didn't think about them committing suicide or they were cowards or they were selfish but rather how they were just trying to survive. Jared was just trying to survive and be Jared.
I am convinced that Jared would have been a politician or ambassador of some sort, After all look around at all of you here tonight that he has touched in just 7 months. He had a way of bringing people together. He certainly never met a stranger.
Again, Thank you to the students who took a lot off our plate and everyone who has helped them as well as rallied around us.
Thank you all for being here tonight. Rich and I would like to say, from the bottom of our hearts, how much we appreciate everything and how impressed we are with the teens here who quickly jumped in and needed to help us - most of you don't even know us. It takes a lot of courage in our book, to pick up the phone to call, to send a message, our to stop by to see us when you are your age. Everyone here at Good Hope County Day, the soccer community as well as our island friends - thank you.
I would like to talk to the teens for a few moments. You have and will go through some difficult times. That is normal and a part of life. It is also important to remember there are people who understand. Your parents, ministers, teachers, and coaches are there for you. When you are in pain, when you are scared, when you are afraid, and even when you are happy, reach out and share these moments. Sometimes as parents we seem to brush off things that you tell us. That is because we have hindsight. What you are feeling many times us just a pebble in your path. What we forget is that to you It feels like a St Croix sized pot hole. Now I want you to understand a bit about Jared Martin. When he was just two his dad and I separated and divorced. Jared saw and heard many terrible things and became angry and violent. By the end of his terrible two's I didn't have a figurine left in the house. Anger and violence is something his father struggled with as well. From the age of three Jared saw a counselor off and on when needed. He learned how to cope with his anger and one of those tools was soccer. Like many parents I was drafted as his coach. I made the decision of putting Jared in the goal box to take his aggression and anger out on the ball. I bribed Jared. I told him if he didn't let any balls in the goal I would buy him ice cream. Needless to say Jared got lots of ice cream and I looked for a second job. But most importantly he took his aggression out on the ball and NOT another person. When Jared was in 3rd grade I felt it important that he learned to be coached by someone other than me. At his first game his team mom and coaches wife came up to me to tell me how she had told Jared he was really good at soccer and be replied, "thanks my mom taught me everything I know."
Flash forward to his 8th grade year. King of the Middle School. Unfortunately, less than a month into the year his father took his life. Jared's father was a police chief in a small Illinois town and it turned into a media circus. News crews, cameras, etc. As you can imagine this was and had continued to be hard for Jared to process. Jared friends quickly rallied around him and within 24 hours of returning home he was on the soccer field to help him cope. In the spring the team was in the District Tournament where they would face their #1 rival Dickson County. There was a bit of history with those two teams. You see we had played them a couple of times earlier and lost. But one particular game we had a situation where the whistle blew and Jared was faced with a PK (penalty kick) Jared stopped that ball. Then the whistle blew again for another shot and again and again. Jared stopped all four shots. Later I learned the ref had told him he was too good. We had a very quiet coach who rarely yelled or got upset and made sure every child got on the field and all of a sudden he is getting flashed with a red card. Jared is hollering it is ok coach I got this. We learned that the ref on the field was the father of the kid who kept getting the PK shots. Now it is time to play them for the championship. Jared played all four games that day and not one ball went in. This meant for the first time in the history of the men's program at the Middle or High School they brought home the hardware. Jared was also named to the all tournament team. After all the clean up my stinky, sweaty, and very muddy keeper came up to me and said, "so you going to take me for ice cream? " yes I did. .....a large M&M Blast from Sonic.
This morning a friend of mine posted an article about understanding suicide. It explained how suicide is a desire to survive. It gave the example of how on 9/11 we watched people jump from those top floors to survive. We didn't think about them committing suicide or they were cowards or they were selfish but rather how they were just trying to survive. Jared was just trying to survive and be Jared.
I am convinced that Jared would have been a politician or ambassador of some sort, After all look around at all of you here tonight that he has touched in just 7 months. He had a way of bringing people together. He certainly never met a stranger.
Again, Thank you to the students who took a lot off our plate and everyone who has helped them as well as rallied around us.
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