Good evening my cherished friends and family. As you know by my post earlier I was struggling today. I really just wanted to curl up and cry. But with Jared Martin help I got up got dressed, put my strongest front on, and off we went. Rich drove which was the best for everyone on St Croix as tears filled my eyes all the way to the school, and tonight it seemed very far away. When we arrived I sat in the truck for a bit as it drizzled. I talked to Jared and said " Mr for all that is good on earth part these clouds and let the sun shine. " HE LISTENED! I know I was just as shocked. I had lots of anxiety but I was greeted with strong faith from the minister and those in God who reached out to us. Then quickly school faculty, parents, and students learned we were there. They asked the family to come down front and sit in the tent. At first I thought Rich and I would be alone. ... not at all. Our island family was right there with us. They put pictures out of Jared that I had gathered along with a memory wreath and memory book. I was overwhelmed to learn they had offered the kids two hours the other night to come and write in it and the kids were there almost four hours. Tonight more wrote in it. Adults too. The headmaster started the service off as people were still arriving. He spoke about Jared and emphasized our desire for the students to understand you don't take your life. Reverend Beck then spoke of his memories of Jared on the soccer field. He then turned the Mic over to anyone who wanted to share. Several people told stories like teachers who had Jared who got to see on Google Earth where Harpeth High was and where he parked, to friends telling stories about friendships quickly formed. It was then my turn....if I could do it. I felt a little tap and a whisper. ...."come on mom" . With a very deep breath I began to read my speech. While I stuck to most of it I did adjust. I could feel the sun beat down on me as I told the soccer story from 8th grade.... almost as if it were pride shining. The minister then told of Job's struggles and how they were like Jared. I felt so much better when it was over. Then the soccer game started. I had the honor of kicking off. Off with the dress shoes and on the field I went. The team following me. The ref was trying to heard the kittens and hollered. ...19 turn around. I smiled and rubbed him on the arm and said they are all 19. He looked and giggled. I kicked that ball and was transported to the driveway with Jared many years ago kicking that ball back and forth. I walked off the field as they continued the game with kids from every school on island represented as well as adult who coached or played on the Men's National Team with him. I was greeted with a long line of parents, students, and supporters. We shared laughs, tears, and hugs. The game ended and it was time for the candle light service but the breeze wasn't going to allow it. We all stood in formation of the number 19. Jared's Jersey number that was worn by everyone tonight and his Jersey was retired and given to us along with a yellow and white t shirt worn tonight. Power of 1 on the front, 19 on the back. Ironic isn't it. Jared's Jersey at Harpeth was 1. At the conclusion we were given the friendship wreath that was made for him a large poster of him, and two soccer game balls that were signed by all the players and anyone there tonight that wanted to. It shows how many lives he touched in a short time. More in next post. ......
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Deb & Rich,
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with you...w/Warm Hugs
Sharing your painful loss has a poignancy beyond words!
With all of life's pain, I can ony offer that prayer has eased several terrible catastrophes & hope that it may ease a fraction for you!