Have you ever asked yourself why someone was in your life? Be it good or bad, people are in our lives for a reason. Some to grant us peace when needed. Some to help us grow in a way that we will need later in life. Some to entertain us.
I have thought a lot about this subject recently. I have talked about the dividers we place in our lives. The divider of before and after graduation, the divider before and after I got married, the divider before and after I had children. I have the divider, before and after Jared passed. So I have been thinking about friends I had before and now. I had friends that were casual friends that have become extremely close. I have had stranger that are now a deep connection, I had close friends that stepped away and I had family members of Jared's who have completely disappeared. Before that divider was placed, I might have cared about those who choose to walk away, but in some cases I find it a blessing. I find it a disappointment for others, and I find it indifferent on others.
I have had many friends of Jared's become friends of mine and likewise become friends with their parents. Some of these people I lived around for 14 years but we never took the time to get to know each other for one reason or another. Some close friends of Jared's have stepped away to process their grief in isolation. Some of my friends have been silent supporters with a hug when needed, be it cyber or in person, and some of my friends have stepped away because of fear of "if it could happen to you then it could happen to me" thoughts.
But I have been blessed with other friendships that have been connections on a much deeper level that was not present before. Before they were casual friends that I would sit next to at soccer games, or occasionally chat with on Facebook. They have shared stories and their loss. It is a sorority of sorts that no one want to belong to. I have had connections with people who were close or attempted to take their life at one point.
There are those that share their talents with you that you never knew they had. There are those that run away because they don't want to be asked to help.
We live in a gated neighborhood here and to say we have upscale neighbors would be truthful. I was befriended by a couple of ladies when I first moved here that have since gone into hiding. It hurt at first but I was able to talk with one at a gathering on Halloween. She explained they simply don't know what to say to me. I told her, I am still the same person they knew before just broken. I can still talk about things and I am happy to answer questions you may have. Something else happened that night, our neighbor who was just a wave as we go by type neighbor, has become more. They gave me a special gift of true friendship. They don't treat me like I have the plague. They treat me like a human mother that lost her child. A hug each time we meet, followed by a heartfelt compliment that leads into a conversation about other aspects of life.
Today I spoke to another mother of loss. She cried because she found someone else here who understands her pain as a mother. It is difficult when you feel you have no one that understands near you. She has been grieving in silence for four years now. She didn't even know this event existed on Saturday until she saw a flyer at her place of employment.
I then had the pleasure of going to lunch with a young woman who we have had a casual friendship and our conversation turned into realizing we had more of a friendship than once realized. One of intellectual conversations, laughs, and fun lunches. I think there will be more to come.
I also have excepted the evil people who are in my life. They too are there for a reason. I think one reason is to make me appreciate all the wonderful people I have around me. I used to feel sorry for some people because of different things, but I don't any longer. I feel compassion, empathy, and understanding, but not sorry for anyone. One of the conversations at lunch was we all have a story to tell. Some people glue the dark pages together so they can't be read and others let those pages work in one of two ways. Some choose to want exceptions made for them because of the path they have traveled and others let those pages remind them of how strong they really are.
Some of you who read this blog I know and some I do not. But we have crossed paths for a reason. Thank you for being a part of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment