Traditions and Where Is Heaven?

Today I finished an ornament that will go on our tree.  Not a big deal for most people but for me it has been a struggle.  A struggle to think about Christmas, a struggle to continue a tradition I started the year Jared was born, a struggle to find the right thing to make.
The other night I woke at about 1 am just wide awake.  Why?  I soon would know.  I felt something telling me to gather items.  Gather chop sticks, black material, bright paint sticks, but what was I going to do with this stuff?  It then started to become clear.  I was creating a Mocko Jumbie.  I painted the chop sticks with bright green and orange around the bottom.  I then made a pair of shorts out of the black material.  By this time I was starting to see what I was being guided to make.  I wanted to keep working on it but felt like I was being told to return to sleep as I had to work the next day.
The next night I worked more.  I knew I needed a special color for the shirt.  Bright florescent yellow.  But where the heck am I going to get that?  Not like I have a Joann Fabrics I can run to.  Then something told me to look through Jared's clothes.  It was a battle within because I was obviously going to have to cut whatever I found and how in the heck am I going to cut anything that touched his body?  Then it jumped out of the drawer at me.   It was a neon yellow shirt he would wear to practice in and it had forever stains in it.  So it made sense to cut those areas out to create a goalie shirt for my soccer goalie Mocko Jumbie.
I painted a bead to look like a soccer ball and even found weather stripping that was cut to become goalie gloves.  I then created the head but needed something on it.  A voice said to check a flower pot that I had picked up some hair from Jared's last hair cut I gave him and tossed it in the pot.  Ironically, there was a lock still there. So my blond haired Jared Jumbie or Mocko Jared was born.

The Mocko Jumbie comes from African heritage.  It is believed that the Jumbies tower over all the people in the village to be able to see the evil spirits in the village and chase them away so the loving spirits of our loved ones can walk among us.  

Mocko Jumbies appear here in parades and celebrations.  They walk on stilts and tower 12 feet and taller.  In fact it is entertaining when they sit on the roof of a 2 story building to rest during the night. Shortly after we arrived Jared asked how he could learn to be a Jumbie.  I think he would have made a good one. 

This all has had me thinking this week about Heaven.  Where is Heaven?   As a child I grew up believing that Heaven was beyond the clouds, sky, and stars.  Somewhere far away.  But I am learning from Jared that just isn't true.  I am finding Heaven exists here on Earth.  They walk among us but yet in a different realm.  How have I gone all these years and not known that?  I am learning from Jared's visits that our loved ones are walking with us all the time and can transport at anytime to be anywhere they are needed.  They still have a sense of humor and enjoy playing tricks on us to get us to smile.  They love to play with animals and babies because they see them.  

I have been dreading the Holidays and prayed one night that if it was God's will I was ready to go and be with Jared.  Let someone else live and he could have me.  Then I got a visit from Jared.  He shared with me about Heaven and how we are together but I can't touch him right now.  He explained to me I have work to do and there are things I need to be here for that would be shared with me when the time is right.  I asked him about these signs I keep seeing and he just smiled and said, you taught me how to work puzzles mom, keep working.  Really Jared?  Really?  Sigh.  So I will continue to work on the puzzle pieces as he gives them to me.  

So while I want Jared with me physically, he is with me spiritually.  I know this because he has told me and I see Zoe playing with him.  

This week I broke to the point of uncontrollable tears and hurt.  I picked Jared up and rocked him in as I sat in the chair holding his urn.  I felt a cool breeze then I heard him say, now you understand why I chose to be with you.  I love when you rock me, always have loved sitting with you I felt safe.  Of course that brought more tears.  I thought if I would have not listened to what Jared asked me to do, which was against what had been done in all of our families, then I would not have been able to rock him and have that moment.