It has been a while since my last post. Lots of things have been going on. First I am no longer working after not getting paid for six weeks. That is another post. ....lol but it is a good thing.
I am heading stateside for almost a month in May and looking forward to it. I will be catching up on doctor and dentist appointment, not looking forward to that part, but also talking to some groups about suicide awareness and prevention and just how to talk about suicide in general. I am happy that so many people are beginning to open up on the topic.
The most exciting thing is the giant fundraiser being planned. I am so excited to have so much coming together in such a short amount of time. Bands, auction items, big auction items, volunteers, food, and much more.
It is all so heart warming and I can't find the words to thank everyone. Maybe the words don't exist?
I have been able to refocus on me a little too. I am exhausted easily and feel the need to just rest. Probably the best thing I could do for myself. I have been very public in this journey, not for sympathy, for healing and to let people know I am not ashamed and I don't feel anyone should be.
I continually get called "strong ", but I am very weak. I rely on God to carry me most days.
My brain never quits thinking and that is beginning to drive me nuts and also exhausts me. It is now 2:30am and I am releasing some of that in hopes of returning to sleep for a few hours.
Zoe is growing older and very sassy. She is truly a Diva. That girl is a social butterfly but also a momma's girl all the way.
In a couple of weeks Rich and I will head out for a vacation. Actually more of running away for a difficult week. It will be our first Easter without Jared, our first anniversary without Jared, and his first birthday in heaven. Bam all in five days! Easter has always been a special time for Jared and I, not really sure why but it might have something to do with he was predicted to be born in Easter. Like everything in Jared's life he was late for birth too. ..lol. Our anniversary and HIS birthday are just two days apart. In fact we took a cruise to get married and also celebrated his birthday. What a great time that was. I expect a roller coaster ride that week but I have been praying that I have the strength to celebrate it all.
I really feel like I am on this crazy slick slide or curvy road and I have to just let go of the wheel and hold on with lots of prayer. Next week is St Patrick's Day here in island and it is a big celebration. Jared had a blast last year. Then Easter, our anniversary, Jared's birthday, mother's day, graduations of his friends, Rich's birthday, Dan's birthday, Jared's angelversary, father's day.
If you don't believe in God all you have to do is just watch my life and see Him. I promise you I could not survive it without Him and knowing Jared is right here with me through all of this.
I will try to be more faithful in keeping the blog current. Much love to all.
I am heading stateside for almost a month in May and looking forward to it. I will be catching up on doctor and dentist appointment, not looking forward to that part, but also talking to some groups about suicide awareness and prevention and just how to talk about suicide in general. I am happy that so many people are beginning to open up on the topic.
The most exciting thing is the giant fundraiser being planned. I am so excited to have so much coming together in such a short amount of time. Bands, auction items, big auction items, volunteers, food, and much more.
It is all so heart warming and I can't find the words to thank everyone. Maybe the words don't exist?
I have been able to refocus on me a little too. I am exhausted easily and feel the need to just rest. Probably the best thing I could do for myself. I have been very public in this journey, not for sympathy, for healing and to let people know I am not ashamed and I don't feel anyone should be.
I continually get called "strong ", but I am very weak. I rely on God to carry me most days.
My brain never quits thinking and that is beginning to drive me nuts and also exhausts me. It is now 2:30am and I am releasing some of that in hopes of returning to sleep for a few hours.
Zoe is growing older and very sassy. She is truly a Diva. That girl is a social butterfly but also a momma's girl all the way.
In a couple of weeks Rich and I will head out for a vacation. Actually more of running away for a difficult week. It will be our first Easter without Jared, our first anniversary without Jared, and his first birthday in heaven. Bam all in five days! Easter has always been a special time for Jared and I, not really sure why but it might have something to do with he was predicted to be born in Easter. Like everything in Jared's life he was late for birth too. ..lol. Our anniversary and HIS birthday are just two days apart. In fact we took a cruise to get married and also celebrated his birthday. What a great time that was. I expect a roller coaster ride that week but I have been praying that I have the strength to celebrate it all.
I really feel like I am on this crazy slick slide or curvy road and I have to just let go of the wheel and hold on with lots of prayer. Next week is St Patrick's Day here in island and it is a big celebration. Jared had a blast last year. Then Easter, our anniversary, Jared's birthday, mother's day, graduations of his friends, Rich's birthday, Dan's birthday, Jared's angelversary, father's day.
If you don't believe in God all you have to do is just watch my life and see Him. I promise you I could not survive it without Him and knowing Jared is right here with me through all of this.
I will try to be more faithful in keeping the blog current. Much love to all.
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