I Pray

I pray for an Easter miracle.  I really do.  I have been so extremely moody lately it is almost an out of body experience.  I try to not snip at Rich but sometimes it happens before I even realize.  I am so tired of being tired.  Tired of hurting physically, mentally, and emotionally.  I am exhausted.  I have a puppy that needs me and doesn't have a problem letting me know she does.  Nor does she have a problem letting me know she is upset with me.  I am trying to stay focused but it just isn't working some days.  I feel like I have no skeleton inside holding me up anymore.

I pray to God every day, several times a day.  I ask for a miracle.  Please God just bring back Jared, PLEASE!  I have watched the segments on the Today Show this week and science is backing up what I already know.  So if we are there where we can cross over and back than please God, let me visit Jared for a moment or just bring him back!

I have so much anxiety about this week I can't focus.  I should be happy and focused on an anniversary  of my marriage but I haven't even gotten him so much as a card.  Why?  I know I will get through this week one day at a time just as I have all the other holidays that have come and gone.  This is hard.  No Easter basket to put together with things Jared would like.  No birthday cake to make.  No presents to wrap nor excitement of getting him something he has wanted all year.

I have cried a bucket of tears this week.  Usually not at convenient times.  Like driving down the road and for seemingly no reason they just start flowing.  Or walking down the grocery store isle and like a pregnant woman who's water just broke there they come.  That isn't to mention watching commercials in Spanish that I don't even understand and start crying.  sigh.  Why?

I feel so close and yet so very far away from Jared.  I am blessed to have such a spiritual connection with him that continues.  But, I am human, therefore I am selfish, and I want more.  I know God has work for me to do, as well does Jared.  But for a moment in my sleep can He not just take me to visit His glorious home then bring me back to finish the work he needs?

I pray whatever He wants I do.  I pray I hear him clearly with instructions.  I pray that when it is my time to go, Jared is the first one that greets me beside the Lord.  I also pray that God will get email or Facebook even a phone for us to talk with our loved ones.  That would be an awesome Facebook page of God's selfies with our loved ones don't you think?  God at the soccer games?  God watching us?  Oh Lord....don't post those pics please.

I pray that people let go of the hate they are holding.  I can barely scroll through Facebook because of the terrible political bashing going on both directions and the bashing going on over a law that exists in more than half the country but they are ready to crucify the Indiana Governor.  HATE please let it go.  Tolerance of differences.  I think of all of us like Legos.  We are all different shapes, colors, and sizes.  Some of us fit together better than others.  But when we are all used correctly in harmony, we create a pretty darn cool place.  Take a look at this amazing Lego sculpture.

I pray you all have an amazing Easter.