def: a person who manages or looks after something or someone.
Sports def: A player assigned to protect the goal in various sports.
One of Jared's coaches told me that he was placed in the most important position for all the team. This position was not only to block the ball from entering but it was to observe, digest, and act as a "coach" from the field. This position needed to be able to reassure the team he would stop any ball that had gotten past them, or in other words "he had their back". This position was to coach and cheer on his team and motivate as this position had a better observation of the game then even the coach.
I watched Jared closely in his position he had been given after that talk. Being the over protective mother I was, I was concerned that was a lot of weight just put on his shoulders. I saw him take that weight and grow stronger from it. He learned to do exactly what the coach needed him to do and to also communicate with the coach for the coach to make better decisions.
This week has been one hell of a week for me. Downs, Ups, drowning, flying, exhaustion and completely helpless. These are just a few of the emotions from this week.
I began to think yesterday afternoon as I felt Jared's presence very strong, about the true meaning of a Keeper. I remembered what that coach had told me. I remembered watching Jared become a strong Keeper, both physically and mentally. I also thought about this: Jared is still the Keeper. He is keeping his team going to stop "block" suicide (stop the ball). He is putting each of us in our position on the field and putting a support system in the stands. He is putting people at the gate collecting money to insure the team can continue to play on a level field with good lighting, and a successful outcome. He has put the coaches in place that cheer on the team members. He has more team members than ever before signing up to join his team. We have a great defense! I also thought, just as the best of the best teams out there, once in a while a ball will get past all of us. No matter how strong our defense was/is. So, I can scream for a minute but then, just like Jared, I have to get my head back in the game.
Our Keepers across the US and around the world are growing in numbers, our defenses are getting stronger. Our cheers are getting louder. Our name is getting known. Our mission is being heard. Our "goals" are adding up.
I hear often from those who knew Jared that he is proud of me and the work I am doing. I think he is most proud of holding his team together. See my gift to Jared pales in comparison to that he gives me each day. He made wonderful, strong willed, determined, driven friends and he gifted them all to me. Without them, I couldn't continue nor would I have ever started.
I wish Jared would have taken his hurt from losing his father and done what Kelsey and I have done with ours. He would have had all the same supporters.
I look forward to heaven. I really do. I can be with Jared again and watch he and his team "God's Giants" or "Heavenly Havoc" playing some awesome soccer. I am sure that it is the greatest place, it has to be with all the beautiful Angels that live there with God.
Friday, January 22, 2016
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Triggers
We all have "triggers" that instantly take up to happy or sad places in our lives. It could be the smell of a cologne, perfume, flower, food, or pungent smell. I have triggers that take me to happy and sad places as well. The smell of dirty, stinky, sweaty, soccer.....takes me to a happy place believe it or not. It reminds me of all the time I spent with Jared watching him do what he loved to do.
This Christmas I found a new trigger that was not pleasant at all. In fact it brought nightmares to me. It is a family tradition with my in-laws to watch, It's A Wonderful Life. Didn't realize until this year how many times in one day they play the movie. I also didn't fully recognize the plot. Do you know it? If you were to have asked me a couple of years ago I would say it was a Guardian Angel sent to make George understand all the blessings he has. While that is true.....let's go to the beginning, where Gabriel was sent because George was getting ready to take his life......that is right....suicide. I never picked that part up until this year. Man did it come crashing down on my like a building collapsing and taking my breath away. I tried to occupy myself with my phone playing mindless games until my battery went dead. Then, I had to leave the room. I could have brought it to the attention of everyone but there was a fear of doing so. After all, I am an advocate to stop suicide, why would this silly movie get to me so much? Well the only way I can explain it is this. Touching someone on the arm with a new unsharpened pencil would not hurt. Yet if I did that on the arm with an open wound it would hurt beyond words. All holidays are open wounds when we are grieving for our loved ones.
I have had to learn many coping mechanisms to get through each day. Some are easier than others. I am not sure that Christmas will ever get easier.
I know that I have had many triggers and some I am able to flat out ignore before I get to the point of "out of control" with them. As an example, the media sensationalizing suicides and homicides. We don't need the details! When I think there is a trigger in the article I won't read it. Others are unavoidable. Much like learning the breathing techniques for labor, I have had to learn how to breath for grief. Sounds silly doesn't it? Yet, it is true. I have had to learn to breath at all sometimes. I have had to learn to breath short quick breaths and slow into longer, deeper breaths to slow my heart rate down from strong emotions to keep from hyperventilating. I have had to learn to breath with long exhales to clear my mind, emotions, and gain control over my thoughts.
For me the worst part of triggers is they can bring happiness and sadness at the same time. Pictures do this often for me. So many times I smile with happiness and cry with sadness at the exact same moment.
As we start a new year, I pray no parent will have to lose a child. I pray no person will have to suffer. I pray for peace of heart for those who are grieving.
This Christmas I found a new trigger that was not pleasant at all. In fact it brought nightmares to me. It is a family tradition with my in-laws to watch, It's A Wonderful Life. Didn't realize until this year how many times in one day they play the movie. I also didn't fully recognize the plot. Do you know it? If you were to have asked me a couple of years ago I would say it was a Guardian Angel sent to make George understand all the blessings he has. While that is true.....let's go to the beginning, where Gabriel was sent because George was getting ready to take his life......that is right....suicide. I never picked that part up until this year. Man did it come crashing down on my like a building collapsing and taking my breath away. I tried to occupy myself with my phone playing mindless games until my battery went dead. Then, I had to leave the room. I could have brought it to the attention of everyone but there was a fear of doing so. After all, I am an advocate to stop suicide, why would this silly movie get to me so much? Well the only way I can explain it is this. Touching someone on the arm with a new unsharpened pencil would not hurt. Yet if I did that on the arm with an open wound it would hurt beyond words. All holidays are open wounds when we are grieving for our loved ones.
I have had to learn many coping mechanisms to get through each day. Some are easier than others. I am not sure that Christmas will ever get easier.
I know that I have had many triggers and some I am able to flat out ignore before I get to the point of "out of control" with them. As an example, the media sensationalizing suicides and homicides. We don't need the details! When I think there is a trigger in the article I won't read it. Others are unavoidable. Much like learning the breathing techniques for labor, I have had to learn how to breath for grief. Sounds silly doesn't it? Yet, it is true. I have had to learn to breath at all sometimes. I have had to learn to breath short quick breaths and slow into longer, deeper breaths to slow my heart rate down from strong emotions to keep from hyperventilating. I have had to learn to breath with long exhales to clear my mind, emotions, and gain control over my thoughts.
For me the worst part of triggers is they can bring happiness and sadness at the same time. Pictures do this often for me. So many times I smile with happiness and cry with sadness at the exact same moment.
As we start a new year, I pray no parent will have to lose a child. I pray no person will have to suffer. I pray for peace of heart for those who are grieving.
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Wise Words From Grandma
When I was in early elementary school my grandfather had a stroke which left him incapable of taking care of himself. This was devastating to him as he had been an active farmer all his life. My uncle was well known in our community and had much rental property in our small town. My uncle lived on the corner of our block and our house was beside it. My uncle had recently purchased a property on the other side of his which backed up to the back side of our property. The family chose to move my grandparents in to that location to allow us to all assist in taking care of my grandfather. In our family putting someone in a nursing home was just not what we did. In fact it was always my grandparents who took in the elderly in the family to care for them.
My grandfather needed assistance with everything and my grandmother had always been the sickly one. So we were only a phone call and a holler out the window away. It was hard on Gramp to allow any of us to help him out and see him the way we all must in order to take care of him. We had to assist in every way.
My grandparents were kind people, yet like most seniors they developed a very sharp tongue. It became sharper each year and the filter we all carry began to disappear. Looking back on it this is probably why my grandmother shared some things with me when she did.
Throughout my years living at home I would clean my grandparents home each week and earn money for camps and other things. I would also help my grandmother with balancing check books and she tried her best to teach me how to cook. That seemed to come naturally to her and not to me. She also taught me that you don't have to have all the fancy gadgets to do things. I learned to iron with her metal iron she heated up on the stove and a towel on the kitchen table as a board. Let me tell you she ironed EVERYTHING including the sheets and pillow cases. Laundry was hung out on the line to dry with every opportunity with the underwear located in the middle line and outer wear, towels, and sheets on the outside lines. Underwear went up last and came down first. I wonder what they would think these days when girls wear them as clothes. LOL
One day I remember cleaning and a family member came over that we all kept a close eye on for multiple reasons. I asked grandma why she even allowed him in. She responded that you can't choose your family but you can choose the ones you claim. I was taken back by that answer. But I think of that often.
I also think that works in reverse. While we may not be family by blood, we can choose who we connect with as family.
Grandma also told me many other things that were wise. First, use your fine silver often or it will tarnish. She said even if it is just eating bologna sandwiches and beans. Use your good china and silver. Now was she planting a seed to nurture? Because unlike my grandmother with an amazing green thumb, I on the other hand have little luck. But maybe she was also explaining to me that just because something or someone seems to be extremely valuable, they are not if they just sit and are never valued for their purpose.
She also said never go to bed mad or you will wake up mad. She was right. Tried that once and learned my lesson. Not again.
She also taught me how to focus on the things needed to be done first while putting the others on the back burner and pulling them up one at a time. I do that often. As example.....Today I must grocery shop to eat tonight, tomorrow I have a radio interview for our event on Saturday so in the morning I will prepare for that, Friday finish last minute items for Saturday and get rest, Saturday morning set up and event, Sunday or Saturday afternoon send thank yous out, Sunday rest, Monday my birthday and Rich has planned a great evening out with friends, Tuesday....rest, Wednesday prepare for Thanksgiving as much as possible, Thanksgiving make all the side dishes to Rich's smoked turkey. Friday Jump Up, Saturday and Sunday - rest. Then the following week begin promotion for Giving Tuesday. Then focus on the Red Out Nights coming up and helping the new Keepers Clubs get everything organized for them.
Grandma taught me a lot. Much I didn't even recognize until years after she was gone.
My grandfather needed assistance with everything and my grandmother had always been the sickly one. So we were only a phone call and a holler out the window away. It was hard on Gramp to allow any of us to help him out and see him the way we all must in order to take care of him. We had to assist in every way.
My grandparents were kind people, yet like most seniors they developed a very sharp tongue. It became sharper each year and the filter we all carry began to disappear. Looking back on it this is probably why my grandmother shared some things with me when she did.
Throughout my years living at home I would clean my grandparents home each week and earn money for camps and other things. I would also help my grandmother with balancing check books and she tried her best to teach me how to cook. That seemed to come naturally to her and not to me. She also taught me that you don't have to have all the fancy gadgets to do things. I learned to iron with her metal iron she heated up on the stove and a towel on the kitchen table as a board. Let me tell you she ironed EVERYTHING including the sheets and pillow cases. Laundry was hung out on the line to dry with every opportunity with the underwear located in the middle line and outer wear, towels, and sheets on the outside lines. Underwear went up last and came down first. I wonder what they would think these days when girls wear them as clothes. LOL
One day I remember cleaning and a family member came over that we all kept a close eye on for multiple reasons. I asked grandma why she even allowed him in. She responded that you can't choose your family but you can choose the ones you claim. I was taken back by that answer. But I think of that often.
I also think that works in reverse. While we may not be family by blood, we can choose who we connect with as family.
Grandma also told me many other things that were wise. First, use your fine silver often or it will tarnish. She said even if it is just eating bologna sandwiches and beans. Use your good china and silver. Now was she planting a seed to nurture? Because unlike my grandmother with an amazing green thumb, I on the other hand have little luck. But maybe she was also explaining to me that just because something or someone seems to be extremely valuable, they are not if they just sit and are never valued for their purpose.
She also said never go to bed mad or you will wake up mad. She was right. Tried that once and learned my lesson. Not again.
She also taught me how to focus on the things needed to be done first while putting the others on the back burner and pulling them up one at a time. I do that often. As example.....Today I must grocery shop to eat tonight, tomorrow I have a radio interview for our event on Saturday so in the morning I will prepare for that, Friday finish last minute items for Saturday and get rest, Saturday morning set up and event, Sunday or Saturday afternoon send thank yous out, Sunday rest, Monday my birthday and Rich has planned a great evening out with friends, Tuesday....rest, Wednesday prepare for Thanksgiving as much as possible, Thanksgiving make all the side dishes to Rich's smoked turkey. Friday Jump Up, Saturday and Sunday - rest. Then the following week begin promotion for Giving Tuesday. Then focus on the Red Out Nights coming up and helping the new Keepers Clubs get everything organized for them.
Grandma taught me a lot. Much I didn't even recognize until years after she was gone.
Monday, November 9, 2015
Anger
I have every right to be angry. Who are you to say I don't? I can be pissed if I want to. I can be happy if I want to. Lately, I have been fighting anger. Anger at people who are not worth my emotions. Anger at a society who refuses to acknowledge a problem. Anger with life.
I am fortunate because I can rationalize myself from this place but some powwow can't.
I want my baby back. Why can't he come back? Because death is permanent, forever, never ending.
I can let anger consume me or I can get stronger from it.
I choose to be stronger from it.
Monday, November 2, 2015
Reflections
I returned Friday afternoon from another trip to the states to talk to teens about suicide prevention and awareness. I spoke at high schools and middle schools. I even had one PTO meeting and a Chamber of Commerce Meeting. While the Chamber meeting was pretty self contained, we had a great response from those who attended. The PTO meeting was at a school that had been touched by suicide. What is sad is that the parents of the young man lost were present and saw first hand the empty offerings that come when a loved one is lost. I don't think it is only to suicide this happens but during all losses. People who say they want to support you and learn more and they will be there for you, but they don't show up. If you have ever lost anyone then you know who I am talking about.
Yet, I feel so overwhelmed with love when I talk to teens. They are genuine, speak from the heart, and mean what they say. They don't offer empty promises. They have a pure love and they know empathy. They ask questions with an extreme purpose behind them. They have a desire for knowledge to solve a problem and when they are empowered with helping me solve the issue of suicide they step up and are loud and proud to save a friend.
So where is it between teen and adult that we lose that? Where is it we find it acceptable to offer empty gestures of kindness? Where is it we find it acceptable to offer empty promises? Where is it we lose the desire to change the world for the better?
I am amazed when I tell teens I need something done, something seemingly unobtainable, and they get it done. I sent 19 students to the Tennessee State Capitol last February to help the AFSP get the message out about suicide prevention and awareness to the Legislature. It filled my heart to listen to all the stories from each of those young adults when they left about getting to talk to every elected official except 2 that refused them. The innocence of it all is they didn't have appointments to see any of them, they just walked in with a News Camera Crew and like magic they got in to see the official. They didn't know you needed an appointment, they just did what they felt should be the way. I have to agree, it should be, it once was, even at the White House you were allowed in to see and talk to the President. Oh how times have changed.
I got to talk with Keepers Clubs and my oh my how I left with a full heart. I talked with individuals and groups. I listened to them tell me of Senior Projects, events they had taken part in, upcoming trips, struggles, and triumphs over dark times. I felt Jared near them all. I talked with administrators that are struggling to help struggling students. How they want to take the pain away and make the children better. I talked to parents and community members who were amazed at the students in their area taking on suicide and making adults talk about and help them fix it.
I talked to friends from school that I was close with, grew apart, and now are close once more. I talked with friends who were once casual acquaintances who are now strong supporters of my efforts and in my inner circle of friends.
I met with law makers to help draft legislation to make a real difference and to help the students achieve what they feel is necessary to combat the issue of suicide.
While at times these struggles I feel with prevention and awareness are legitimate, they quickly give way to the acute awareness that my target audience is hearing the message loud and clear. This also gives way to frustrations at times because so many administrators are stuck between what they want to do and what political powers are telling them to do. How very sad! I will say this, I do hold those "political powers" and "avoid at all cost" parents accountable for every teen lost. That blood is on your hands. I wonder how you would feel if that blood belongs to your own child.
Wouldn't it be great that if we didn't talk about a problem it would just go away? Well then, stop talking about sexually transmitted diseases, cancer, budgets, low income, crime, homicide, race, etc.....it will all go away if you just stop talking about it. If only.
I met a wonderful principal along my travels this time too. He is a giant teddy bear. I think his students feel the same way. He towers over them all but is quick to offer a hug and a kind word. He also took some extreme action to make a talk to his students take place. He was amazing.
I wish the adults had an open mind like the teens do. I wish they had an understanding and grasp of the real problems the teens are facing. I wish.......so much.
Yet, I feel so overwhelmed with love when I talk to teens. They are genuine, speak from the heart, and mean what they say. They don't offer empty promises. They have a pure love and they know empathy. They ask questions with an extreme purpose behind them. They have a desire for knowledge to solve a problem and when they are empowered with helping me solve the issue of suicide they step up and are loud and proud to save a friend.
So where is it between teen and adult that we lose that? Where is it we find it acceptable to offer empty gestures of kindness? Where is it we find it acceptable to offer empty promises? Where is it we lose the desire to change the world for the better?
I am amazed when I tell teens I need something done, something seemingly unobtainable, and they get it done. I sent 19 students to the Tennessee State Capitol last February to help the AFSP get the message out about suicide prevention and awareness to the Legislature. It filled my heart to listen to all the stories from each of those young adults when they left about getting to talk to every elected official except 2 that refused them. The innocence of it all is they didn't have appointments to see any of them, they just walked in with a News Camera Crew and like magic they got in to see the official. They didn't know you needed an appointment, they just did what they felt should be the way. I have to agree, it should be, it once was, even at the White House you were allowed in to see and talk to the President. Oh how times have changed.
I got to talk with Keepers Clubs and my oh my how I left with a full heart. I talked with individuals and groups. I listened to them tell me of Senior Projects, events they had taken part in, upcoming trips, struggles, and triumphs over dark times. I felt Jared near them all. I talked with administrators that are struggling to help struggling students. How they want to take the pain away and make the children better. I talked to parents and community members who were amazed at the students in their area taking on suicide and making adults talk about and help them fix it.
I talked to friends from school that I was close with, grew apart, and now are close once more. I talked with friends who were once casual acquaintances who are now strong supporters of my efforts and in my inner circle of friends.
I met with law makers to help draft legislation to make a real difference and to help the students achieve what they feel is necessary to combat the issue of suicide.
While at times these struggles I feel with prevention and awareness are legitimate, they quickly give way to the acute awareness that my target audience is hearing the message loud and clear. This also gives way to frustrations at times because so many administrators are stuck between what they want to do and what political powers are telling them to do. How very sad! I will say this, I do hold those "political powers" and "avoid at all cost" parents accountable for every teen lost. That blood is on your hands. I wonder how you would feel if that blood belongs to your own child.
Wouldn't it be great that if we didn't talk about a problem it would just go away? Well then, stop talking about sexually transmitted diseases, cancer, budgets, low income, crime, homicide, race, etc.....it will all go away if you just stop talking about it. If only.
I met a wonderful principal along my travels this time too. He is a giant teddy bear. I think his students feel the same way. He towers over them all but is quick to offer a hug and a kind word. He also took some extreme action to make a talk to his students take place. He was amazing.
I wish the adults had an open mind like the teens do. I wish they had an understanding and grasp of the real problems the teens are facing. I wish.......so much.
Monday, October 12, 2015
What Has Changed?
This is a question that has been eating at me for a week now. While feeling warmth from the display one of our Keepers Clubs did in Illinois and all the positive media coverage it got a punch in the gut happened. Oh I knew it would just wasn't expecting the age of the individual. I always prepare myself for the rudest of rude people. I saw the comments, how about you display all the lives lost to mass school shootings or how about you display all the murder rates? Truth is I could add all those up and include all the deaths from our military and they do NOT equate to the number of people we loose from suicide. Sometimes I just want to unleash and say, why don't you look up Jared's Keepers Foundation, Inc before you ask such dumb questions? But I don't. But then a retired man posted this...my 90 year old mother said that people who couldn't handle problems in her day were locked up and restrained if needed. Seems we are missing something. What has changed since then?
Full disclosure, I read that comment while sitting on the Boardwalk sharing adult beverages with a couple of friends and my husband. I told myself, while I had a knee jerk answer to wait until morning to reply. Which I did. My answer started out with EVERYTHING. So even after answering him in a mature way this still has been eating at me. WHY?
The actions of those who share this world with us continue to point this out to me. First, I shook my head the entire time I responded to that man. Thinking to myself, he is seriously asking me this because he doesn't understand. He wasn't being rude. So I Googled It....That is one answer.
This list is from literock969.com of Northfield, NJ
So a few things have changed since his mother was a child. Likewise accountability is no longer understood. We constantly hear people screaming they have a right to know this and a right to know that. We have a responsibility to protect too. Example, the leaks of the spies that were gathering intelligence for us that an individual took upon himself to expose and ultimately cost them their life. Yes he had a right to know, but more than that he had a responsibility to that human life to keep it to himself until they were safe.
Recently the Halloween displays that are causing controversy are the same. People have a right to them. They also have a responsibility to children not to cause emotional harm, to law enforcement and the tax payers to insure that countless hours are not spent insuring the display is not real people, and to anyone who has experienced such horror.
The media has also changed. When I was a child the news would have NEVER shown anything as graphic as it does today. Let alone think nothing of showing it. I remember being home sick when President Reagan was shot. I was only in 2nd grade but remember it well. I also remember the news anchors being overwhelmed with grief and sadness and would not show the actual moment the President was shot. They showed up until and taking down the suspect. But actual footage did not get shown after the live coverage until years later.
I would also say a mega shift in parenting has taken place. More people have babies than have families in my opinion. They have babies for multiple reasons. I hear people say it often that they need a break from parenting. Nope that didn't happen in his mother's time now did it? Mom was at home with the children and had a full time job there with gardening, mending, cleaning, etc. Now we run to Wal-mart and grab a new item instead of fixing anything, we hire people to clean our houses and do floral gardening not vegetable gardening. We go to the local Farmer's Market because it makes us feel good to have "organic" food. Then we run by McDonald's and grab dinner for the family on the way home. So what has changed?
We had children go to school far fewer hours with a higher quality education too. Oh boy stand back while the arrows fly at me for that one. IT IS TRUE! The students of a 100 years ago didn't go near the number or hours they do now. They are no smarter now than then in fact some would argue they are far less intelligent. The children had chores before school and after school and responsibilities to the family. Now, many children won't see their parents for two or more days and they certainly don't eat anything until they get to school. So the schools had to extend their days to allow time to eat, nap, exercise and release the built up energy of the children. Then after school programs were put into place. Homework, HOW DARE YOU CRAZY SCHOOL MY CHILD HAS TOO MUCH TO DO TO DO YOUR STUPID HOMEWORK. Don't believe me? Log onto Facebook. I see parents posting all the time how their child has 2 worksheets and they don't understand why the teacher doesn't let them do it at school they have sports and shopping and this and that to do no time for homework. (eyes rolling) Gone are the days of home from school, have snack, do homework, play outside.
So when did the F-bomb turn into an acceptable adjective? Wow do I remember when my mother THOUGHT I said the F-bomb. Let alone my grandfather. Now toddlers are flipping the bird on posts by and with parents and dropping the F-bomb like an infant drops their pacifier. I think we can say they are not bombs any longer.
Criminal activity once upon a time was frowned upon now it is glorified. We celebrate those who climb to the top of a flag pole and rip down government property. We see nothing wrong with people getting angry and burning down stores and stealing everything they can get their hands on. Now it has non stop coverage on CNN and it is ok, they are angry. BS I call BS.
Once upon a time we held PEOPLE accountable now we blame things. A shooter goes into a school, theater, mall, etc and it is the guns fault. No it is his/her fault. May have others at fault too but gun didn't shoot by itself. We had 911 and that killed thousands of people and destroyed many more, we didn't blame the planes we blamed the terrorists.
Accountability and Responsibility have been lost. That is my opinion on what has changed. We can write all the laws we want. Until the "system" follows them things won't change for the better.
Full disclosure, I read that comment while sitting on the Boardwalk sharing adult beverages with a couple of friends and my husband. I told myself, while I had a knee jerk answer to wait until morning to reply. Which I did. My answer started out with EVERYTHING. So even after answering him in a mature way this still has been eating at me. WHY?
The actions of those who share this world with us continue to point this out to me. First, I shook my head the entire time I responded to that man. Thinking to myself, he is seriously asking me this because he doesn't understand. He wasn't being rude. So I Googled It....That is one answer.
1913 The zipper
1914 Motorized movie cameras
1915 Pyrex
1916 Electric power drill
1917 Radio tuners
1918 The superheterodyne radio circuit
1919 The pop up toaster
1920 The hairdryer
1921 The modern lie detector
1922 Electric kettle
1923 Self-winding watch
1924 Loudspeaker
1925 Modern day can opener
1926 Tevelox robot
1927 Aerosol can
1928 Baird Television Department Company television
1929 Car radio
1930 Jet engine
1931 Electric razor
1932 Electric can opener
1933 The Teasmade tea maker
1934 Zippo lighter
1935 Radar
1936 First voice recognition machine
1937 Dirt Devil
1938 The biro ballpoint pen
1939 Helicopter
1940 Modern color television
1941 Artificial heart
1942 The turboprop engine
1943 The Slinky
1944 Kidney dialysis machine
1945 Clock radio
1946 Disposable diapers
1947 Kenwood food mixer
1948 First pager
1949 Photo-Pac disposable camera
1950 Alkaline batteries
1951 Power steering
1952 SAGE modem
1953 Black box flight recorder
1954 Regency pocket radio
1955 Breathalyser
1956 Behind the ear hearing aid
1957 Casio digital watch
1958 Pacemaker
1959 Black and Decker cordless drill
1960 Stereos/hi-fi
1961 Kodak Instamatic
1962 LED.. light-emitting diode
1963 The Telefunken ‘mouse’
1964 Plasma television
1965 Y. Hatano’s pedmoter
1966 El-Gi 1:12 Ferrari radio controlled car
1967 Polaroid
1968 Smoke detector
1969 The Internet
1970 Digital thermometer
1971 Handy pocket calculator
1972 Multi socket power plug
1973 The Ethernet
1974 Breville sandwich maker
1975 Kodak digital camera
1976 Lithium batteries
1977 Mattel Electronic Football
1978 Victor HR-3300REK – first VHS video recorder
1979 Texas Instruments Speak and Spell
1980 Sony Walkman
1981 Epson HX-20 – the world’s first laptop
1982 Sony Watchman – CD player
1983 Commodore 64
1984 Sony Disc-man
1985 The Leatherman multi-tool
1986 Bose noise cancelling headphones
1987 Sony super VHS camcorder
1988 Digital mobile phones
1989 World Wide Web
1990 Nintendo Game Boy
1991 Nintendo SNES
1992 Palm Pilot
1993 Dyson vacuum cleaner
1994 Digital cordless telephone /Mega Drive
1995 PlayStation 1
1996 Audio Highway – world’s first MP3 player
1997 Motorola StarTac
1998 Panasonic portable DVD player
1999 DVR by TiVo
2000 The Trek Tech/IBM – flash drive
2001 Apple iPod
2002 PlayStation 2
2003 Blackberry 6210
2004 Samsung OLED TV
2005 Xbox 360
2006 SanDisk Micro SD
2007 Apple iPhone
2008 Beats by Dre
2009 Twitter
2010 Apple iPad
2011 Kindle Fire
2012 Nexus 7
2013 PlayStation 4
This list is from literock969.com of Northfield, NJ
So a few things have changed since his mother was a child. Likewise accountability is no longer understood. We constantly hear people screaming they have a right to know this and a right to know that. We have a responsibility to protect too. Example, the leaks of the spies that were gathering intelligence for us that an individual took upon himself to expose and ultimately cost them their life. Yes he had a right to know, but more than that he had a responsibility to that human life to keep it to himself until they were safe.
Recently the Halloween displays that are causing controversy are the same. People have a right to them. They also have a responsibility to children not to cause emotional harm, to law enforcement and the tax payers to insure that countless hours are not spent insuring the display is not real people, and to anyone who has experienced such horror.
The media has also changed. When I was a child the news would have NEVER shown anything as graphic as it does today. Let alone think nothing of showing it. I remember being home sick when President Reagan was shot. I was only in 2nd grade but remember it well. I also remember the news anchors being overwhelmed with grief and sadness and would not show the actual moment the President was shot. They showed up until and taking down the suspect. But actual footage did not get shown after the live coverage until years later.
I would also say a mega shift in parenting has taken place. More people have babies than have families in my opinion. They have babies for multiple reasons. I hear people say it often that they need a break from parenting. Nope that didn't happen in his mother's time now did it? Mom was at home with the children and had a full time job there with gardening, mending, cleaning, etc. Now we run to Wal-mart and grab a new item instead of fixing anything, we hire people to clean our houses and do floral gardening not vegetable gardening. We go to the local Farmer's Market because it makes us feel good to have "organic" food. Then we run by McDonald's and grab dinner for the family on the way home. So what has changed?
We had children go to school far fewer hours with a higher quality education too. Oh boy stand back while the arrows fly at me for that one. IT IS TRUE! The students of a 100 years ago didn't go near the number or hours they do now. They are no smarter now than then in fact some would argue they are far less intelligent. The children had chores before school and after school and responsibilities to the family. Now, many children won't see their parents for two or more days and they certainly don't eat anything until they get to school. So the schools had to extend their days to allow time to eat, nap, exercise and release the built up energy of the children. Then after school programs were put into place. Homework, HOW DARE YOU CRAZY SCHOOL MY CHILD HAS TOO MUCH TO DO TO DO YOUR STUPID HOMEWORK. Don't believe me? Log onto Facebook. I see parents posting all the time how their child has 2 worksheets and they don't understand why the teacher doesn't let them do it at school they have sports and shopping and this and that to do no time for homework. (eyes rolling) Gone are the days of home from school, have snack, do homework, play outside.
So when did the F-bomb turn into an acceptable adjective? Wow do I remember when my mother THOUGHT I said the F-bomb. Let alone my grandfather. Now toddlers are flipping the bird on posts by and with parents and dropping the F-bomb like an infant drops their pacifier. I think we can say they are not bombs any longer.
Criminal activity once upon a time was frowned upon now it is glorified. We celebrate those who climb to the top of a flag pole and rip down government property. We see nothing wrong with people getting angry and burning down stores and stealing everything they can get their hands on. Now it has non stop coverage on CNN and it is ok, they are angry. BS I call BS.
Once upon a time we held PEOPLE accountable now we blame things. A shooter goes into a school, theater, mall, etc and it is the guns fault. No it is his/her fault. May have others at fault too but gun didn't shoot by itself. We had 911 and that killed thousands of people and destroyed many more, we didn't blame the planes we blamed the terrorists.
Accountability and Responsibility have been lost. That is my opinion on what has changed. We can write all the laws we want. Until the "system" follows them things won't change for the better.
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Anger
Anger is an overwhelming emotion at times. If we don't keep it in check it will consume us like a deadly cancer. Anger is a normal stage in grief, and as most of us know, we go in and out of stages for varying periods of time. While we all know how devastating depression can be on us, we often times forget about just how destructive anger can be.
Many people experience anger toward the loved one whom we lost. For me, I have been angry at Jared for taking his life, for leaving me alone, for not being here with me, for hurting his friends, for.....well many things. I have also been angry at those who continued to stand in the way of my son healing healthy after the loss of his father less than four years prior. I have been angry at God. I have been angry at myself. I have just been angry.
What I realized, and come to understand through my loss, is anger can call you to action or destroy you. It is your choice.
If you choose to let anger destroy you, most likely you will take others down with you. You can let it consume you to the point of becoming physically ill. You can become so focused on control of things and people around you that you forget to love those around you. Anger can drive those that love you the most away.
One of the issues born from anger that we see more of today, especially in schools, is bullying. Those who are angry within and have not been taught how, or not supported in, processing and releasing anger in a healthy manner can turn to being the bully. It is especially common with boys. They are taught to show no emotions and not to talk about problems. So they keep it inside. Unfortunately, we are all like a balloon, we can only hold so much before we pop. We must learn and teach our children to release those emotions in healthy, constructive ways.
We have seen the news where angry individuals walk into schools, churches, movie theaters and other public locations and kill or harm many individuals there. Innocent people hurt because of unresolved, uncontrolled anger. Many of the stories of those who do such heinous crimes, we later learn, had been suffering from a mental illness of some sort that had gone untreated. That mental illness could be depression, anxiety, self-esteem, or more severe illnesses like clinical depression, schizophrenia, or any number of other illnesses.
The first step in all of this is to stop the stigma! Stop joking about mental illnesses.
Reach out for help when needed and support those around you who are wanting to reach out for help. Don't discourage them in fear of embarrassment. If someone near you needs help then encourage and support them to seek professional help.
Anger can also call you to action. Many times amazing charities are born out of anger towards a problem. This happened with me. Jared's friends were angry at losing teens to suicide and together we started Jared's Keepers Foundation, Inc. We put our anger to work to solve a problem that we didn't see much help for. The problem of teen suicide. Many other wonderful organizations have come from the same anger channel. Many people have come to volunteer at organizations and help others from their anger at a problem. MADD was born out of anger toward the problem of drunk driving. Motivational speakers have turned anger into inspiration. Others use the anger they have inside to drive them to success in life. Astronaut Story Musgrave is a testament to this. He lost both parents and a brother to suicide and used all that anger to drive him to success in life.
In grief, there are no easy answers, especially when it comes to anger. We each have a choice. What is yours?
Many people experience anger toward the loved one whom we lost. For me, I have been angry at Jared for taking his life, for leaving me alone, for not being here with me, for hurting his friends, for.....well many things. I have also been angry at those who continued to stand in the way of my son healing healthy after the loss of his father less than four years prior. I have been angry at God. I have been angry at myself. I have just been angry.
What I realized, and come to understand through my loss, is anger can call you to action or destroy you. It is your choice.
If you choose to let anger destroy you, most likely you will take others down with you. You can let it consume you to the point of becoming physically ill. You can become so focused on control of things and people around you that you forget to love those around you. Anger can drive those that love you the most away.
One of the issues born from anger that we see more of today, especially in schools, is bullying. Those who are angry within and have not been taught how, or not supported in, processing and releasing anger in a healthy manner can turn to being the bully. It is especially common with boys. They are taught to show no emotions and not to talk about problems. So they keep it inside. Unfortunately, we are all like a balloon, we can only hold so much before we pop. We must learn and teach our children to release those emotions in healthy, constructive ways.
We have seen the news where angry individuals walk into schools, churches, movie theaters and other public locations and kill or harm many individuals there. Innocent people hurt because of unresolved, uncontrolled anger. Many of the stories of those who do such heinous crimes, we later learn, had been suffering from a mental illness of some sort that had gone untreated. That mental illness could be depression, anxiety, self-esteem, or more severe illnesses like clinical depression, schizophrenia, or any number of other illnesses.
The first step in all of this is to stop the stigma! Stop joking about mental illnesses.
Reach out for help when needed and support those around you who are wanting to reach out for help. Don't discourage them in fear of embarrassment. If someone near you needs help then encourage and support them to seek professional help.
Anger can also call you to action. Many times amazing charities are born out of anger towards a problem. This happened with me. Jared's friends were angry at losing teens to suicide and together we started Jared's Keepers Foundation, Inc. We put our anger to work to solve a problem that we didn't see much help for. The problem of teen suicide. Many other wonderful organizations have come from the same anger channel. Many people have come to volunteer at organizations and help others from their anger at a problem. MADD was born out of anger toward the problem of drunk driving. Motivational speakers have turned anger into inspiration. Others use the anger they have inside to drive them to success in life. Astronaut Story Musgrave is a testament to this. He lost both parents and a brother to suicide and used all that anger to drive him to success in life.
In grief, there are no easy answers, especially when it comes to anger. We each have a choice. What is yours?
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